It’s a bit weird writing anonymously, so I’ll give you something to work with- I’m a member of the Labour Party. I have been for nearly 5 years, been part of plenty of election campaigns, served in positions of responsibility in my local party, spent far too many hours on the door knock for someone my age, and thoroughly discussed many minutes of the last meeting. I’m what I’d hope to characterise as “proper Labour”, I’ve worked hard for the party, and I intend to continue doing so, but that isn’t what this article is about.
I’m in a relationship with a member of the Conservative Party. And I have been for a good while now. I love him. I really do. But other people aren’t so accepting.
Telling people I’m dating a Tory elicits a response I should have seen coming, given the current state of division in our political discourse, but I’m far too much of an optimist to. “What are you doing that for?”, from someone who’s never met him. “I don’t know how you do that!” from someone who doesn’t know him. “I couldn’t do that!” from someone who doesn’t know what they’re missing! You’d think he had some contagious disease- and to be fair, I have had people move physically away from me after finding out! The sudden change in people I considered friends is really quite sad, especially given I’m more involved in Labour and the Left than they have ever been, and they’re trying to tell me I’m being a bad leftie, and what I’m doing is wrong.
One girl, who I didn’t think was ever expecting to be this blunt in her dislike for real life Conservatives actually stood in front of her, upon meeting him, literally refused to talk to him, positioned her body language away, wouldn’t look at him, but was entirely willing to talk to me, sat next to him!
People on the left, like me, have a habit of thinking they’re better than people on the right, and being intolerant and acting like engaging and debating them is beneath them, and thinking it’s justified because they’re Tories. They seem to forget who is running the country, and how winning means a thorough argument for Labour having to be made. Anyone who chooses to associate with a Tory is contaminated with the same brush, as a Tory- wrong and acting immorally. Thinking we’re better than Tories has really worked out well for us in the last few elections, right? The public agree we’re better than the Tories, right? Oh wait…
The general public isn’t so black and white, they just want what’s best for their family and the country as a whole.
Those Never Kissed A Tory shirts disgust me. They’re acting as though no world exists outside of politics. As though we’re lacking in division in this country. I thought the time of people being punished socially for who they loved was long over. What does this say about our national discourse? Our tolerance for other people? The expected purity, the desired purity, to never question the desired belief. What a scary pursuit- to want people who have never questioned, and thus strengthened their belief. They just say to people on the other side, that we don’t want to associate with you, we don’t want your votes, we don’t want you in our lives. And well, no matter where you stand politically, to seek to govern is to seek to represent the masses. Those shirts are bad for our political discourse because they inhibit the ability of the opposition to provide a strong alternative, because they reduce the ability to claim to represent the people.
They’re not even a campaigning tool, they’re not pro Left, they’re just a pure instrument of division. And they’re exactly what Labour, in my opinion, doesn’t need. Do we forget people have personal lives, are well rounded people and aren’t just their political views? We seek to govern, so we need to seek to represent the people, by being tolerant of other people’s views. I thought the Left thought love trumps hate and love should never be a political statement.
My relationship should not be a political statement.
I’d just like to see a political discourse where we can all debate freely as equals. None of the Tories I’ve come across are pursuing the values of the Conservative Party because they like watching people suffer or enjoy horrendous inequality in a society, they are doing what they believe to be right. So are we. So instead of attempting to demonise the opposition, we could just accept that we are bound to disagree and find a way to campaign against each other in elections, but love each other in life.
Love is love, right?
The Next Conversation 